Day 5
Originally posted in 2020 as part of the series The View From Here: Life in Lockdown
Things on My Quarantine List:
1. Write More
2. Write More
3. Write More
4. Write More
5. …
I’ve been watching my fiancé scratch at a spot on the couch for the last 45 seconds. He’s not sure how it got there, but it’s definitely on his side. He’s talking, but I’m also not really listening to him; a fact that took me another 15 seconds to realize. He’s probably talking to himself. He does that a lot—something I had never noticed before. I’m starting to notice a lot of things I never noticed before.
He’s been scratching at that spot for a long time.
We started the day with a fight, which is something we don’t normally do. We’re both fairly easygoing people—him more than me. We’re usually on the same page because we are the same flavor of weird. Even when we do fight, we don’t do it properly. It’s more of a tense argument where both of us are trying to express our feelings in the best way possible so that the other person can understand, which is incredibly boring to watch and would make a horrible reality TV show, but that’s how we do.
Oh good, he’s stopped scratching at that spot.
The first words he spoke to me this morning were, “Do you want to help me with yard work?” Now, three months ago, at my insistence he had cancelled our lawn service and purchased an electric lawn mower. I hadn’t liked the extra expense of a lawn service and promised I would take care of the yard and he wouldn’t have to do anything. Three months later, the grass is just over our ankles, there are acorns everywhere (we have a lot of trees), and there is a knee-high mound of leaves in the backyard that is becoming its own ecosystem.
So, what I realized my fiancé meant to say was, “For the love of God, the neighbors are starting to judge us, please get out there, you promised.” But he can’t say that. He can’t even be more specific than do you want to help me with yard work, so I got mad. I work best with lists, deadlines, instructions, and tasks. I don’t do well with vague politeness, which is my fiancé’s specialty. He’s. So. Nice.
And this is something else I have never noticed before.
Things on My Quarantine List:
1. Write More
2. Write More
3. Write More
4. Write More
5. Figure out how the goddamn lawnmower works